matberninger:

my life is just one unattainable dark-haired guy after another 

posted 5 hours ago with 299,291 notes

tmntyler:

mormondad:

This is how I stayed alive my senior year

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks of time like this.

posted 8 hours ago with 626,151 notes

*pushes back selfie release date*

posted 8 hours ago with 61,530 notes

iamwizz:

someone catfish me plz so i can get on Mtv and promote my mixtape

posted 9 hours ago with 4,999 notes

theanti90smovement:

*straight white guy voice* how is that offensive?

posted 9 hours ago with 150,298 notes

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

darkwingsnark:

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

you have 10 seconds to think of a way to make the average vampire movie fresh and new and exciting again

A vampire going through the daily struggles of trying to hide his ever lasting boner— as rigor mortis is an unkind friend. 

JE SUS

posted 9 hours ago with 23,837 notes
posted 9 hours ago with 24,201 notes

spork:

Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?

posted 9 hours ago with 53,111 notes

yeezus-fish:

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool
image

posted 9 hours ago with 76,723 notes
Anonymous:
The band should be named "Real Dan."

realfriendsband:

If the band really was just Dan, it would just be him smoking pot and playing video games on stage.

posted 21 hours ago with 509 notes
Anonymous:
On a scale of 1 to A$AP Ferg how trill is Dan?

realfriendsband:

I have absolutely no idea what this means

posted 21 hours ago with 209 notes
Anonymous:
Favorite scent of candle?

realfriendsband:

Dead body

posted 21 hours ago with 461 notes
sailing-alone:
What are some unpopular bands you'd recommend to listen to?

realfriendsband:

Real Friends

posted 21 hours ago with 357 notes

If I get one more message asking if we have real friends, we’re breaking up.

posted 21 hours ago with 475 notes
nodeath-cantouchthecrookedyoung:
How old are you guys?!?!!!!!?

realfriendsband:

Old enough to party

posted 22 hours ago with 352 notes