my life is just one unattainable dark-haired guy after another
This is how I stayed alive my senior year
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks of time like this.
someone catfish me plz so i can get on Mtv and promote my mixtape
*straight white guy voice* how is that offensive?
you have 10 seconds to think of a way to make the average vampire movie fresh and new and exciting again
A vampire going through the daily struggles of trying to hide his ever lasting boner— as rigor mortis is an unkind friend.
Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?
when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool
If the band really was just Dan, it would just be him smoking pot and playing video games on stage.
I have absolutely no idea what this means